Leaders, Need to Stop Too

Leadership carries an unusual kind of weight. Even when the working day ends, the responsibility doesn't necessarily end with it. There are decisions still unresolved. People we're worried about. Conversations we know we need to have. Problems that haven't quite become problems yet. Plans for next year already competing for attention with everything that needs to be finished this year.

The work might stop. Our heads don't always follow.

For leaders, that can make deliberately stepping away surprisingly difficult. There is always something else that could be done, solved, reviewed or improved. But the inability to stop isn't necessarily evidence of commitment. Sometimes it's evidence that we need to.

Tired Leaders Still Make Decisions

Fatigue doesn't always announce itself dramatically. Sometimes it looks like impatience. We become more reactive. Small problems seem disproportionately irritating. We default to familiar solutions because we don't have the cognitive capacity to properly consider alternatives. Our tolerance for ambiguity decreases. Difficult conversations get postponed because we simply don't have the energy for another one. And sometimes we don't notice any of it.

That's particularly relevant for leaders because our decisions rarely affect only us. When our judgement deteriorates, other people inherit the consequences. Rest, therefore, isn't simply a wellbeing exercise. It is part of maintaining the capacity required to lead well.

There Is No Medal for Being the Last Person Online

Leadership creates some strange incentives. We reward responsiveness. We admire work ethic. We value people who are dependable when things become difficult. All reasonable things. But somewhere along the way, those qualities can become confused with permanent availability. Emails at 11pm. Checking messages during leave. Answering the phone during family time because something apparently can't wait until tomorrow.

Occasionally that's necessary. Leadership doesn't operate according to a perfectly convenient schedule. But if it happens constantly, it's worth asking whether we're demonstrating commitment or simply reinforcing a habit we've forgotten how to interrupt.

Being exhausted isn't evidence that the work matters more to us. Sometimes we're just exhausted.

The Team Is Watching

Leaders establish standards through considerably more than what they say. Tell a team to switch off, then send them emails late into the night, and we've communicated something. Tell people their wellbeing matters, then consistently reward those who are permanently available, and we've communicated something else.

People pay attention to what gets rewarded, tolerated and modelled. This doesn't mean leaders need to manufacture some perfect version of work-life balance. There will be periods where the work legitimately demands more from us. The issue is when temporary intensity quietly becomes the normal operating model.

If we want people to believe they can genuinely disconnect, occasionally they need to see us do it too.

Responsibility and Constant Involvement Aren't the Same Thing

One reason leaders struggle to step away is that responsibility doesn't disappear when we're not there. That's true. But responsibility and constant involvement aren't the same thing.

• There should be people who can make decisions without us.
• There should be clarity around what genuinely requires escalation.
• There should be things that can wait.
• And there should be enough capability around us that stepping away doesn't feel like abandoning the organisation.

If none of that is true, rest might not be the only issue worth examining. Sometimes our inability to disconnect reveals how much organisational dependency we've allowed to develop around ourselves.

Stop Solving Things for a While

Leadership is heavily oriented towards solving. Something isn't working, so we fix it. Someone needs a decision, so we make it. There's another problem coming, so we start thinking three moves ahead. Useful professionally. Not particularly conducive to switching off.

One of the benefits of taking a genuine break is allowing the brain to stop treating everything as something requiring immediate resolution.

• Spend time with family.
• Go somewhere.
• Exercise.
• Read something completely unrelated to work.
• Sit somewhere and do absolutely nothing useful for several hours.
• Whatever works.

Not because these things will somehow make us more productive afterwards. Do them because life doesn't need to justify itself through productivity. That distinction matters.

Distance Changes Perspective

Stepping away also creates something leaders often lack: distance. When we're deeply embedded in a problem, everything about it can feel urgent. Distance changes that. The problem that seemed enormous on Tuesday can look considerably different after we've stopped staring at it for a while.

The conversation we were preparing to charge into might require a different approach. The decision we thought needed to be made immediately might not need to be made at all. Sometimes clarity doesn't come from thinking harder. It comes from creating enough distance to think differently.

Rest Before It's Forced Upon Us

There is a strange tendency among capable people to treat recovery as something that happens after the work is finished. The problem is that the work is rarely finished. There is always another priority, another deadline, another person who needs something. If rest only becomes acceptable when nothing remains to be done, we may be waiting a very long time.

Eventually the decision can be made for us. Performance drops. Patience disappears. Relationships suffer. Health intervenes. Something that could have been a deliberate pause becomes an involuntary one. Rest isn't the opposite of discipline. Sometimes stopping requires considerably more discipline than continuing.

Leaders Need to Stop Too

Leadership asks people to carry responsibility, uncertainty and consequence for long periods of time. There is nothing particularly impressive about pretending that doesn't take something out of us. Nor should rest become another leadership optimisation strategy. We don't need to justify every hour away from work by calculating how much more effective it will make us when we return.

Sometimes we simply need to stop. Take the leave. Put the laptop away. Let somebody else handle things for a while.Be unavailable. The work will still be there.

Some problems will resolve themselves. Others will look different with distance. A few will still be waiting patiently when we return. That's okay.

Sometimes the most productive thing a leader can do is absolutely nothing productive at all.